Today was an interesting day. I went to the beach and ate ice cream, that was the awesome part of the day. But then when i came home, things between our family was discussed today. Things I didn't know certain people felt. Feelings they felt towards me. I really wish they would have told me this sooner, it would have changed a lot.
My mum told me that she feels like she is pushing me away. She said she gets jealous every time she sees me and my dad interact, because we get along so well, and she wishes it was like that between us. And the sad part is, it's true. She was pushing me away for various reasons. And yeah, I did feel like we would never have a good relationship. To me, it was always me and my dad against everyone else. So...this is sad...but I guess I always saw her as the enemy when it would come to it.
But today she explained everything to me. Why she treats me the way she does, how she feels about it. And that she sensed I was getting further away from her. And I feel so stupid now for ever distancing myself away from her. Sure, we don't get along very well, and it takes a lot of effort on my part to try. But from now on, I am going to put in that effort and make this work.
I remember once when I was about 10, we were watching this movie together where the mum and daughter got along very well with each other and my mum said "I hope we are like that when you get older". And being the easy going 10 year old I was, I said "Of course we will, why wouldn't we?". My oh my how things change haha.
Well, now that the air is cleared between us I am going to try. And I know she will too. Let's see how this goes.
- Jade
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