Let this go

Today I realised just how difficult it is to let go of something that is very close to you.

During my day there came a point where I had to choose between two options; one, I could continue doing something that I knew was not good for me in the long run, but something that I love doing, or two; I could call it quits forever but let down someone in the process.

Usually, when faced with such a decision, it's easier to give up the thing you love if it was for the sake of someone else. You just think about them, and sacrifice your own desires for theirs. But this time around, I wasn't giving it up for anyone else. It was for myself. And it was one of the hardest things I've had to do this far in my life. And it was hard because I wanted to keep on doing the thing that was bad for me, because I liked it too much. And stopping myself from doing it just for the benefit for my own personal wellbeing didn't seem like reason enough to stop.

And this got me thinking, how much do we really love ourselves? And I don't mean in a vein, look in the mirror every 5 seconds kind of way, but I mean in a way that we like ourselves enough to respect ourselves. Obviously I didn't love myself THAT much because I was so willing to continue treating myself the way I did, but I am glad I was strong and called it quits. But it shouldn't have taken me such an effort, I should have been able to not even think twice about it.

We all think that we are healthy and okay with ourselves, but really, are we? It's so important to respect yourself because you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. We all really need to start doing more things for ourselves, no, not be selfish, but I mean be okay with the fact that it's sometimes alright to do something for yourself even though it might not be the best thing for someone else. We just have to let go, be strong and do what is right for ourselves.

P.S. On a lighter note, Hayley replied to me again. That made my week a whole lot better! I think it's the 7th or 8th time she's spoken to me :D