Faith

Woahhh...I mean seriously woah. I think I have just had a revelation. Well, actually, I had one ten minutes ago, but I really want to post about it so I never forget it.

Faith is just so important, and you just don't know when it will save you. You see, these past couple of weeks, well actually months, I had lost faith in three different people. I just had no hope that our relationships could ever be the same again, or if there even was a relationship from the beginning. After several times of being directly hurt from these people, and didn't want to dig myself deeper, so I just stopped believing in them. I gave up the thought that we could ever be the same again, and I was prepared to live this way forever. Yes, it did hurt, and I was down. I shunned myself away from the world and lost hope. And, now, on this very day, my faith has been restored in all three of these people! What are the odds? Cause none of them even know each other, well one of them knows everyone, seeing as they are God.

Yes, I had lost faith in our saviour. I prayed every night, but I felt no connection, it was like I was just talking to myself. Then I started to wonder if there even is a God. That was a real low for me. I felt so alone and so empty. So yesterday, I tried REALLY hard to pray, like REALLY hard, I pretty much poured my soul out and I was on the verge of tears. Honestly, the whole time I was questioning if there even was a God. NOW, here is the scary/humbling part. But before I go there, I must give you some background info. On my wall, I have a quote that says "It's not faith if you use your eyes". I know, weird for me to have that quote up giving what I just said to you! But it has always been one of my favourite quotes of all time. Now, this is the God wink. When I woke up the next day, that quote was on the floor. At first I didn't think much of it, but then I started wondering how it wound up on the floor, because it has never fallen off, and it's glued to my wall. It wasn't even a hot night for the glue to have gone soft. It was God. He was telling me to have faith. Call it a coincidence if you will, but I strongly believe that God was telling me to take a chill pill and to tell me that He is there, and has always been there. I just have to have faith in Him.

Then, today, my friend smsed me. But this friend has not spoken to me for ages, and she started giving me the cold shoulder for reasons I don't know. Of course I sent her gazillions of smses to try and meet up with her, and I even had told her how I felt, but she just ignored me the whole time. I had thought that we'd never be the same again, because it has been going on like this for a few months, and she is VERY stubborn, she would never make the first move to do anything. But for some reason today, she smsed me saying that she is free tomorrow, and is willing to meet up. So now we're going out tomorrow! Never thought just the two of us would every go out again! Of course it's going to be awkward as hell tomorrow, but its a step. And my faith is slowly getting restored in our relationship.

Geeze, this is a long post, but I want to tell you about the third person. You guys will laugh and mock me, but this person is the front woman of Paramore, Hayley. She always used to talk to us every week about her life, and we'd just discuss different things. But after a certain incident that happened on the forums, her last post told us to "stop going on the internet and do something with out lives". Not in those words, but that was the message. She didn't want to talk to us anymore, and I honestly didn't blame her after what had happened. And she never posted from then on, about 1.5 months ago. After a while, I started to wonder; just because some idiots did something stupid, what about the true fans that care? (like me!!) It's not fair to shove them off! So I started to loose faith in Hayley too. But then today...you guessed it. She posted! She confessed to having thought about not talking to us, but decided to give in another go! If you want, you can read it here: http://paramoreband.livejournal.com/70946.html

So weird this all happened on the same day, I honestly think it is because I prayed so hard yesterday. Thank you God, you have restored my faith in you and in human kind! So the moral of the story, no matter how hopeless things seem to you, like really, even if it seems nothing will ever change, don't loose hope. And, no, it's not easy, but it is very worthwhile.

Sorry, this post is a bit lengthy, but it's something that's very close to me! Though things seem unfixable, they always are. As the great quote goes, "It's not faith if you use your eyes".

Love Jade