Category 6

"We rank them from categories 1-6, with category 6 being the most severe. She is definitely a 6, if there was a 7, she would be a category 7, that's how severe she is"

I'll never forget those words. We took Izzy (my dog) to the Vet today to see if she was pregnant. She's not, but what I found out today was worse. Well, not really, because it's not like this is all new information. But it just sucked to hear it again, and I think for the first time, it actually hit me.

For those of you who don't know the story behind Izzy, let me tell you. My Aunty's friend is a dog breeder. Izzy was the runt of a litter of dogs (a runt is the last dog to be born from a litter, usually the weakest one and doesn't generally survive). And she was born with a heart murmur. As a licensed breeder, she was supposed to have put Izzy down as she was in no condition to be sold as a pet, but being a normal human being, she gave Izzy to my Aunty instead to save her life.

My aunty kept Izzy for a few months, but as a mother of 3 kids, she couldn't handle a puppy, so Izzy fell into our hands.

So we were fully aware of her heart murmur from day 1. And when we took her to the Vet, we were told she would only live to about 2-3 years, and that her deterioration would not be a pretty one. But we still decided to keep her. 2-3 years is a long time, and if we could give her a good life, then it would all be worthwhile. We should just enjoy her while we can.

Izzy is now 5 and a half years, well beyond her given timeline, and I guess over that time the fact that she had a heart murmur went past me. She's very active, playful, eats well....everything a normal dog is. But today when we took her to the Vet, thinking that her symptoms of being lethargic, not eating very well and sleeping all the time where symptoms of her being pregnant. Especially because we have Brandy (our other MALE dog) around, and she had just been in heat a few weeks ago. It was the logical assumption.

But the Vet said it just could be the beginning of her starting to deteriorate. And they rank heart murmurs by categories. And her's was the worst one, category 6. Her organs will slowly break down, and these could be early signs of heart failure. "Heart failure". I hear those words so much on TV, but when it relates back to someone you love, it just has that extra impact. "Failure"...it's just so bold and scary.

It's just really sad. I love that dog so much, she has really grown on me more than I would have liked since I got her in year 8. I just don't want this to be real...she's just so...so NORMAL. She shouldn't have a heart condition, she's got too much potential for something like that to bring her down. It's not fair and it doesn't make sense.

The Vet said something that I quite liked; the subject of her lifespan came up and it was said that she wouldn't live as long as a "normal dog". But then the Vet said that that's wrong, because she IS a normal dog, just a normal dog with a heart murmur. I liked that sentence.

Well I am hoping that this could just be because of the heat or something too, and she will get back up once the weather starts getting more steady. I am really, really,really not ready to see her coughing up blood and vomiting and fading away. I'm just not.