I feel the knife go innnn

Something got me really bummed yesterday. I caught up with a friend who I hadn't seen in ages, because I've just been too busy. Anyway, that's not the part that bummed me out. What bummed me out was that she had been going through a really, really tough time in the past few weeks. I asked her why she didn't tell me, and she said it was because she knew I was busy and didn't want to add any pressure on me.

That just made me so, so mad. I know I'm busy, it's true. But I never wanted to be that friend who is always "too busy" for their friends. I just felt so mad at my self. Especially because I kept telling myself that I have to catch up with this friend because I hadn't seen her in ages, but I was always putting it off. I know I'm busy, but I never want to be too busy for the people I love. It just made me really mad, and the fact she was going through a hard time made me mad and bummed me out the past few days.

I guess that whole thing sort of motivated me to make more of an effort with friends I don't get to see at uni. I know it's hard, but at LEAST one night a week should be spent trying to catch up with my friends. Even if it's for 2 hours or something. Speaking of things getting you motivated, I have been more motivated lately to be more friendly. You see, the people in my lab. They are not the most social bunch, and the friendships I have made this far are all because I had to be the one to make the first move. They are very quiet and don't really talk to you unless you talk to them sort of thing. At the beginning, I used to be like that because I thought that's how things worked around here. But lately I've been realizing, we are all human. I should just talk to them and make the effort because quite frankly it's stupid sitting in silence.

So that's exactly what I've been trying to do. Be the one to make conversations and be more friendly I guess. So I guess that's what's been happening the past month, or at least in my head. Physically, I went to Groovin' the Moo, met Tegan and Sara and found $50, so that's also cool.

Well, I suppose I better head on off now!